Marbaniang, Domenic

Inter-personal relationship is something akin to building a house.  It is not a readymade house that can be bought; it has to be built over time. The most intimate form of inter-personal relationship is the family. Therefore, a family is also known as a house. And, the Church is called the House of God, or the Household of God, in the same sense. The first most important thing in a relationship is the foundation. The strength of the foundation determines the strength of the house. A house without real foundation is as weak as a castle built on air. There are many unreal materials that people use as foundation for their relationships. Some of them are physical beauty, academic excellence, wealth, skill, status, or any such impermanent things. Feelings and attitudes are subjective experiences that are not foundation materials at any case. Much of these unrealities are matters of mere assumption and imagination. It is like a fan who is enamored by a celebrity, but on drawing near is ...

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col 3:13 NIV) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another,a forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.(Eph 4:31-32 NIV) Accepting Christ's Lordship over our lives and His sovereignty in all things also means that we have allowed Him to take responsibility over our lives as our Shepherd, Keeper, and Savior (2Tim.1:12). It also means that, from now on, He stands between all things and me; in Him I am crucified to the world and the world to me (Gal.6:14). It also means that nothing can cross over to me without touching Him first, as He stands in between me and all things. It also means that I am not allowed to connect or relate or disconnect or unrelate in anyway whatsoever that He will not approve of. It is no longer I, but He who relates...

The mediatorship of Christ, as we saw earlier, is not only between man and God but also between man and man. He comes in between every relationship. He is the Lord of all. In Him, relationships find true meaning and purpose. He comes between parent and child, sibling and sibling, friend and friend, wife and husband and we only relate to each other through Him. The same applies to our relationship with things, treasures, situations in life, and time. He comes between as Lord and mediator in all things. He stands between the storm and the believer, between an event and the disciple. Nothing happens by accident when Christ rules over a situation. He comes between me and the trains or buses I need to board or have boarded. He comes between me and diseases. Therefore, I cannot just do what I like and go where I want but must do all things in Him and through Him. When He is Lord, He controls all things, supervises all that things - even our connections and people we meet. And when we ask any...

Other than unbelief, perhaps one of the greatest sins among the saints is the attitude and action of judging others. The Bible strictly forbids us against judging anyone because none of us can stand before the Judgement Seat of Christ without the grace of Christ. Jesus Commands Us Not To Judge The new commandment which Jesus gave us tells us to love one another (John 13:34; 1Jn.2:8-11; 2Jn.1:5). Jesus commanded us under the New Covenant not to judge anyone (Matt.7:1). He showed us the reasons why we should not judge anyone. --All of us have sinned and stand condemned without the mercy and grace of Jesus (Jn.8:7; Rom.2:1) --Jesus did not come to judge but to save (Jn.12:47; 3:17) --He taught us that anyone who judges others is worthy of hell fire (Matt.5:22) --He taught that the one who judges others must not think that he is better (Matt.7:2-5; Luke 13:1-6) --He taught that we must focus on correcting ourselves before trying to correct others (Matt.7:2-5) New Testament Reasons Not To J...

Some Principles of Judgment in Relationships 1. Not to make a personal judgment about any person without knowing the person personally. “Do not judge!” (Matt 7:1) We have no reasons to subscribe to any other person’s judgment about any other person. 2. A person is not what he/she was in the past, but what he/she is in the present – we must be reminded of the power of God that can transform a person in the split of a moment; so, the situation of even an hour ago is not proof enough to make a judgment about the present situation. To condemn anyone as a hopeless situation is to deny the love and the power of God. 3. Christ is the Mediator in all relationships for a Christian. The third principle is central to both 1 and 2 as well. I wish to elaborate my thoughts on 3. The Vertical-Horizontal Mediatorship of Christ Christ not only destroyed the wall of separation between God and man, but also brought down the wall of separation between man and man (Eph.2:11-16). Thus, we not only have peac...

There is also something called emotional wisdom, when you shut your heart to feelings that attempt to gain unlawful entry into it. There is something called emotional justice, when you are fair in the allocation of your emotions to things. For instance, the emotions that a man must have for his wife cannot be directed or allocated, not even an ounce of it, to any other woman. Similarly, the emotions that rightly belong to a woman’s kids cannot be allocated to anyone else. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have love for others; but, love is not lawless. Supremely, the emotions that we must have for God are exclusive and cannot be had for anyone else – they belong supremely to God: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind”(Lk.10:27). The Bible provides some instances of the application of this truth. 1. In Genesis 21:12, God tells Abraham to not be in grief because of Ishmael and Hagar, but to send them away as Sar...

Acceptance – Accepting the relationship Rejection – Rejecting the relationship Barricading - Raising walls thru words & actions that prevent unwanted relationships or relationship types. Channelling - Putting up turners of words & acts that channel relationships into ones as desired, instead of blocking them off. Repelling - Using words or actions against advances. Crushing - Destroying present relationships. Warfare - Entering into a negative relationship with someone with whom there was no relationship earlier. Union - Joining in meaningful relationships.